I see you

Dear William,

I don't know what you think when we take you to these places, these corridors and waiting rooms. You play with toys and you don't appear to be listening. I hope you're not listening. 

I watch the person opposite you. They're watching you with 'that' look. They're seeing what they want to see, what they expect to see. To them you're a textbook, you're following their pattern. They assessed you before you even entered the room, they've seen your notes. 

They see Autism. I see you.

They see a list of tick box questions answered. 

They give you a number. They do not know, they cannot know, how little that number means.

I'm sorry I have to take you

I'm sorry you are watched

I want you to know 

You haven't done anything wrong.

I don't want you to listen

To what these people say

In a room that's too hot and too small

I watch you being watched

And I wonder what it's like for you

I see only you

I want them to see you too.